Carbon footprint, carbon offset and carbon trading are the new buzzwords of carbon life forms (humans).
Googling ourselves to global warming
The dispute over Google’s carbon footprint is in full swing. Some people claim it already exceeds that of the entire airline industry. I think they are bozos and just to proof my point I will quickly run some queries from my iPhone while sniffing the air in Mountain View. I am sure driving around all day price shopping beats price comparison on Google for CO2 emissions.
Computer Viruses and Microsoft are the real climate killers
Years ago, I bought a laptop running Windows XP. It was super fast, everything I ever needed and wanted. The natural progression of Laptops made it slower and slower through some mystical force, probably updates.
The real bummer is that it was still slow after I wiped it clean and installed Windows with all security updates. Each update progressively slowing down my machine.
Either Microsoft is at the center of an evil conspiracy by the computer industry, who found an ingenious way to push new sales, they are too dumb to program, or virus prevention costs tons of CPU power.
Whichever it is, those are the people that force us to buy faster hungrier CPU’s create poisonous electronic waste and cause the Universe to collapse.
Why isn’t this used by marketing eggheads
Apple should start marketing their computers to tree huggers and soccer moms wishing to preserve the planet just long enough for their offspring to spawn new younglings.
Linux people should seriously look into this as well. I got Linux running on a computer from the last ice age, backing up my web servers and doing other unmentionable stuff on a fixed schedule.
Forget TransFats, Think Carbon Units
Even the food industry should start including this on their tags. Who cares about carbs, fats and sugars when you can compare carbon units?
Child labor plugged these fruits instead of gas guzzling farming machines does not sound good, but environmentally responsible farming does.
I demand to know if a modern slave harvested my caviar or a machine did it. I want to have a clear consciousness when I eat truffles dug out by starving children emitting almost no carbon dioxide. I want my cobe cows to fart as much as they want, but I want these farts to be collected and I want their food to be hand picked. Is that really too much to ask?
Buying a clear consciousness
If you find my post too offensive or cynical, you probably forgot that it is poor people that will starve first due to effects of global warming, but it wasn’t them who rode their SUV’s to work, dumped their waste everywhere and bought cheap plastic crap from China because it pays to pollute.
They did not choose to ignore the signs and they did not buy their clear consciousness through carbon trading. However, they will pay the price first.
Image Credits: Pfala
